I just really need to get this off of my chest. I'm tired of hearing, "Guys are so  complicated." This is not so. Though they may be complex (I say "may" because I know many, many dumb people. And yes, some men are capable of deep thoughts *glares at feminists*) ladies don't need to know a lot about guys to keep them happy. I've brought it down to three simple rules.

1. Guys like their girls.

2. Guys don't like it when other guys touch their girls.

3. Guys don't like it when their girls talk fondly of other guys.

     I mean, why, when the boyfriend has to leave, would you go off in search of fruit snacks, when you're going to have dinner in 5 minutes anyway (*pats Shiinto's back in sympathy*)?

     Secondly, If you've got a boyfriend, why the hell would you flirt with other guys? Especially touchy flirty (you heard me noherdsforyou). That's very bad. And don't give me the, "well, if he trusts me then he wouldn't mind." That's crap. He trusts you completely. Its the fact that OTHER GUYS ARE TOUCHING HIS GIRLFRIEND. Honestly. Common sense here people. 

     And the third. Okay *leans foward in seat*. Why is it necessary for a girl to gawk and giggle at other guys? This, my friends, is what angers many guys, and leaves girls going, "but....uh......wha.....di...." When you look at some other dude and give your little "ah ha! (cutesy giggle)" its not because you admire his acting work, or becuase he's your favorite player. Its because the image of that man (other man!) gives you pleasure. That is what is so damn aggravating. Now, we know you're not going to run off and do this guy. Its not a matter of trust. Its the fact that it saddens us to hear that. Because when we see you looking at that picture, we know you're thinking "he's hot," and that alone saddens us. Because no one else is even relatively good-looking to us anymore. If we see someone, the mind goes, "yes, that person has a relatively good body....now where the hell is my girlfriend?" and then you commence with the scanning of the room to find your love. But, this is besides the point. We know you're thinking "he's hot." But, there's still that little sliver of hope, saying maybe, just maybe, she's not thinking that. Then, you let out your little giggle. Bam. Hits you like a bat to the head. I would say "slap in the face" but that doesn't have enough impact. Bat to the head. And so, you thinking someone is hot shows that you feel an attraction (however slight, there is one) to this man who is not your boyfriend. This is one of the worst feelings in the world. This is why it angers us so.

     Now whether you agree with me or not (all guys do, and any guy who tells you different is a Liar in the highest), or if you like this or not, its how it is. Remember these things. Debate with me if you will, but I shall never allow someone to refute the things I have said here. For they are all true. I hope you have been enlightened, for the good of us all.

 

When you've been going out with someone for a significant amount of time, you will have a revelation.  This will change some of the things that anger you about what your lady does.  Saying that another man is cute won't bother you as much, because you know that, while she might find another person physically attractive, she finds you more attractive than that person.  It dawns on you that you've been lying to yourself, that you too see girls and go, hey, she's pretty good looking.  But while you think that, you still go, "Now where's my freakin' girlfriend."  Things get better after the revelation.  You're not flipping out all the time at your girlfriend's seemingly endless remarks about other men.  It is good.

 

Now that you've had your little revelation, things are better.  But, not all is well in wonderland.  Now that all the big stuff she does that angers you is out of the way, you start noticing all the little things that kind of bother you.  Little displays of inconsideration like not opening a door for you when you've got your hands full, not saying "excuse me" after expelling bodily gasses, or making you explain your little peeves to her parents, because she couldn't just remember to do or not do something that bothers you, she has to announce the fact that she's doing so.  This is the point where you have to think, okay, can I talk to her about this stuff? and if you can, will she try to tweak herself a bit, like I've tweaked myself? And if that answer is no, then you have to ask if you can live with that.  If you can, then good, live on with this girl, but always be bothered by the fact that she does these things.  If not, then move on.  Of course, the best case scenario is that she sees the flaws in herself, and works to better them, like you've done, then you all live happily ever after.  After all, that's the main goal.  The real relation. The underlying theme.